Visiting House of Wholeness

Friday:

While I seemed to adapt amazingly well to living in Bangalore, I feel like “culture shock” finally hit me today when I arrived in Mumbai (still called Bombay by many).

Mumbai is MUCH more crowded than Bangalore (at least it seems like it has more people, but fewer cows and dogs). I really don’t think it would have been that bad, except that when you’re on a packed train and you don’t know where you’re going and you have so much stuff to watch (a backpack, a suitcase, a pillow & blanket) it’s really overwhelming. The challenge is that I felt like I had to guard my belongings, my money, my passport and my body – while keeping my ticket handy and not getting totally lost or jumped on by a rat (which has happened to 2 of my friends here).

I truly feel like God was watching out for me, while it was an extremely chaotic, scary experience, everything did fall into place perfectly. For instance, I ended up with the only seat on the train where there would have actually been room for my suitcase, and at the exact moment when I started to freak out a little my ipod started playing this worship song about not being afraid because God is with us and gives us the courage we need. I was really grateful that Dana helped me take all the techno (workout) songs off my ipod and replace them with inspirational songs before I left! Also, I’ve been here 3 weeks now and no one has harassed me – I feel incredibly surprised and grateful.

I arrived at PB (a.k.a. “House of Wholeness”) (the home primarily filled by ~20 HIV+ children) and was met by Claire and Paul. They are a young, super sweet couple from the UK who run this place as full-time volunteers. What amazing angels! Talk about dedicating your life to a higher purpose… and we are really in the middle of nowhere (now a few hours outside of Mumbai). Anyhow, Claire and Paul have traveled all over India and they say that Mumbai and Calcutta are the hardest places, so I don’t feel so bad that I finally had a stressful day.

My accommodations here are pretty nice. I’m in my own room in a separate building from the kids. Despite the Asian-style toilet (a.k.a hole in the ground) and a big beetle that just flew down my shirt, the room is quite cheerful.

I’m off to bed now as tomorrow (with the kids) promises to be a neat experience and it starts early!

------ Saturday:

This morning I shared my bucket shower with a lizard and 2 frogs – but again I was glad to have hot water and they are a lot cuter than rats, so life was good. Then I joined the (adorable!) children for a breakfast of “idli” with chutney. I’m quickly learning not to take too much of any food the first time it’s offered, because sometimes it’s just too different for me and you’re expected to finish everything on your plate (there aren’t a lot of trashcans in India and this makes it easier to clean up). It’s safer to take a little to try it and go back for seconds if you actually like it then to force yourself to eat something that you just don’t think you can swallow. Last night I had a mango drink and orange cookies for dinner (from a small snack stand outside the train station) and that worked well.

Later I watched the nurse distribute medicine to each child. They each are on very specific regimens of medicine and sometimes diet as well. One by one they came in to see her. If they were young, she would grind up the pills (some of them had 5 to take) so that they were easy to swallow.

The govt provides basic medicine for free, but 2nd stage medicine (which I think is the more serious HIV medication) is not covered. This can cost $300+ per child per month! There are other NGOs that cover this for some, but not all, of the kids here.

Then the kids were off to do their chores, so I toured their rooms. The facility here is really nice. Very cheerful and pleasant. The rooms are all painted in happy colors and it’s kept clean. The infirmary is totally adorable – like a fun playroom. And outside it’s beautiful! The air feels fresh and crisp and the home is surrounded by green fields and mountains (at least during this time of year). I can see how the kids would be very happy living here. If I spoke their language (most speak Hindi – which the people who run the place had to learn in 5 weeks!), I could even see myself living here for a brief period of time and really enjoying it (except during Monsoon season).

All of the children visit the local dr. at least 6x per year. According to him, the children here are in very good health. Only 2 (of about 20?) are showing any real symptoms. Here they get good rest, eating nutritious foods and get the right medication at the same time every day. In fact, the nurse literally had a 12-yr old boy sit in her office until 8 AM on the dot to take his medication, because that is HIS time to take his meds. Quite impressive!

I spent the rest of the day listening to them sing songs, playing with them and reading them stories. They are so loving and cute! I even had a chance to give “career advice” to their oldest children. They are 2 girls about 16 yrs old who have been here since the home opened 10 yrs ago. They are hoping to go to college soon and weren’t sure what to study. They were very interested in hearing about marketing at a snack food company! It’s nice that they have Lays here (even though it’s really Ruffles) so they can understand what I’m talking about.

I've taken 200 adorable pictures of these kids (they've taken them for me actually!) I really wish I could post them for you, but we're not allowed to publish any unfortunately...

-------- Monday:

After just 2 ½ days, I’m leaving here to go to another home for women who are trying to get out of the red light district. While my time at House of Wholeness was brief, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

The home is extremely well run and the kids are very happy here and kept as healthy as possible. Even though the home is out in the middle of nowhere, the grounds are truly stunning. I almost feel like I could be in French Polynesia! I’ve enjoyed my early mornings and late evening strolls by myself, sometimes just sitting on a swing and thinking about God and nature and the kids… and what time it is in the US and is it too early to give Dana a call to hear his voice? : ) It’s been a welcome break from the chaos of the city.

Indian Hospitality

Indian Hospitality is unlike anything I've experience before in my life. Please are so incredibly caring and thoughtful here. In a country with that deals with corruption and poverty on a daily basis, it amazes me at how warm the people are... it really makes me feel bad for how we sometimes treat foreigners back home.

Every day here someone invites me to join them for church or to visit their family at home - and they don't just say it. Immediately after they say it, they whip out their calendar and say "when can you come?" It's very touching. Even the sweet sweet lady who cleans the office has invited me to her home. I share my lunch with her every day.

Another office worker who counsels the trafficking victims and helps them reunite with their families just wrote this to me:

"it was nice chatting with u, I love u very much, because u are a very loving person. not only me the whole ANTI-TRAFFICKING TEAM loves u very much."

That really made my day! Being around this team really keeps my spirits high in spite of the sad stories of the people we're trying to help.

Arrived in Mumbai safely...

I arrived safely in Mumbai with no issues. I flew a discount airline called Spice Jet and it was actually pretty nice - better than Southwest in my opinion. The Mumbai airport is also quite nice.

I'm now sitting in the Mumbai Oasis office. We passed a lot of slum conditions on the drive from the airport to the office. The Oasis office here is somewhat bigger than the Bangalore office, with a mix of people in western attire and Indian attire (Bangalore is all Indian attire). It feels sort of like a start-up company office, and I met one other volunteer here from the UK. Everything smells like urine and my computer somehow has an ant infestation. But I am safe and no one has hassled me or stolen my money, so life is good : )

Later today I'm taking a train (my first in India and I'm a little scared but I know it will be fine) out to PB (the home for women & children affected by HIV). Should be interesting - I love life's adventure!

Heading to Mumbai...

Today I leave Bangalore for the 1st time and head to Mumbai (Bombay) for about a week. There I’ll be working on a project at a home for women/girls with HIV and touring (safe parts of) the red-light district.

On a different note, I'm hearing that care packages are incredibly expensive to ship here and frankly, nothing seems to be arriving (not even some letters that were sent) so if you haven't shipped anything I probably wouldn't. I'll keep the care package list up and if you'd like to purchase anything for the preschool and such, let me know and I can buy it here for you much more cheaply (except possibly the CDs).

Did you know?

Did you know that dowries are still commonly paid in India? The wife’s family pays the groom a handsome dowry (the most recent example I heard was $50k) and then her family also pays for a wedding of hundreds (if not thousands) of people. While this practice is most commonly done by Hindus, even some Christian families here still offer dowries (sometimes it’s called “goodwill").

Did you know that private investigators are commonly used to research a potential mate before the wedding? Since people sometimes don’t meet in person (or only meet briefly) there are popular private investigator “packages” that people purchase to check-out how their mate lives. In fact, someone’s friend just had a wedding called off on them because the investigator tailed them for 3 days and he partied too much!

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Yesterday I shared my “testimony” (how Jesus has changed my life) with the girls in our vocational training program. It was a good experience even though someone had to translate it (since the majority of the girls don’t understand English).

Later I visited a few more Fair Trade and handicraft shops in India – still looking for good places domestically where we can distribute the products that the girls from slum communities are learning to make in our vocational training program. The side benefit to this “exploration” is that I have found some fun gifts and know just where I want to take my family shopping over Christmas for nice Indian souvenirs! After braving crazy traffic all morning, the highlight was a relaxing lunch with a coworker - the Indian food was really delicious despite the cockroach that walked across the table : )

Last night I attended a posh wine tasting dinner that was hosted by the Overseas Women’s Club. I met some fun women and enjoying hearing how well-to-do expats live in the city. Another Texas woman at my table (who looked about my age) was telling me how she has a cook, a driver, a gardener, a housekeeper and someone who works full-time WASHING HER WINDOWS. There is no judging here – as I’m thrilled she has the means to provide employment for all of these people – but wow there are truly different ends of the spectrum in India!

The sad realities for some children here...

Monday I compiled case studies and statistics on child trafficking and incest in India. The findings are going to be published in a booklet designed to increase awareness and prayer re: children’s issues in India – and ultimately aid prevention. While it felt like the work I was doing was valuable, it was strange to be googling words like “incest”. I kept thinking that Frito security was going to come confiscate my computer : ) My world here is so different from life back home.

The stories the case worker shared with me are truly horrifying. Since these are going to be published broadly, I can share one with you now:

13 yr old Ramya* was one of four girls. Her mother later remarried (after her initial husband divorced her) and had three more daughters. Ramya’s step-father eventually began demanding sex with her every day and sending her to have sex with his friends. Her mother was aware of what was happening and demanded that Ramya obey his wishes so that they would not lose the sole family provider.

We became aware of the situation when Ramya’s sisters ended up in a girls home after their mother sold them as domestic house slaves and they were burned and starved. Today Ramya’s step-father is in prison and the case is proceeding in court. (*Ramya’s name has been changed)

I realize that was depressing, so I’ll end today’s post with some things I’m thankful for:
1. That I grew up in a safe home where my parents protected me
2. That I’ve been in India almost 3 weeks and haven’t been sick yet
3. That my host family is AMAZING (in fact, yesterday was their wedding anniversary and they took ME out to dinner to celebrate)

update on Dana's US adventures - Michigan reunion & ACL

Wanted to give a quick update on US happenings with Dana. A week(end) ago we had our 5-year Michigan reunion. It was great getting to catch up with old friends, to take in a Michigan football game, and to celebrate at the Bus.

This weekend, I went down to Austin with Foxy & Anissa to see Austin City Limits, a 3-day music festival. We were fortunate to get some backstage/VIP access for a couple of shows, which was very cool. There was lots of great music, and the event was made quite entertaining by the rain that came on Saturday, turning the park field into a giant mudpit for Saturday night and all of Sunday (ending up barefoot by Sunday night as flip flops became completely stuck in the mud). Concert highlights included Thievery Corporation (inside the barrier to see up close), a great Pearl Jam set (both old & new, as well as Perry Farrell & Ben Harper joining for PJ's encores), the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Dave Matthews Band, Dead Weather, Girl Talk, and backstage for And You Will Know Us By the Trail of the Dead. Also was great to catch up with Sara & James, and to eat great Austin food.

A recap of Sunday...

Yesterday I rented “My Sister’s Keeper” (a sad, sad movie) and visited 2 new churches.

The 1st church was a large Methodist church that I attended with the Partners International Area Director. The service was very traditional, and reminded me of the church I grew up attending back in St. Louis. The church I had attended last week felt more like my current church in Dallas (young, contemporary and casual). I decided to wear jeans this week since many people had them on last week, but I soon found out that just like there are different dress codes for Dallas churches, there are different dress codes here as well. So I ended up as the only white person among about 500 Indians and the only female wearing jeans – and of course they had me get up and introduce myself… so I’m certain that didn’t go unnoticed.

Much of the service felt the same – with 2 interesting differences. First, when you go up to take Communion, you remove your shoes and walk up barefoot. Second, there are ads IN THE CHURCH BULLETIN for people who are seeking brides and grooms. Some of the descriptions listed for what people wanted included “simple-minded bride” or “broad-minded homely bride”. Fascinating… The preacher gave a nice talk on creating a Christian home for your children. He also told a horribly sad story about some Indians who lost their lives for being Christians in Northern India (some tribal leaders shot the family), with the message being “don’t deny your faith”. It’s amazing how easy we have it in the U.S. – isn’t it?

In the evening I attended a small church with my host family. They also asked me to introduce myself there, but there were only 15 people (instead of 500) so it wasn’t as intimidating. One of their daughters sang a beautiful solo… it was incredibly touching and truly the highlight of my day. The preacher here talked about how when trouble comes in our life, we have a choice to make. We can either let the bad things tear us away from God, or we can ask God to use these things in some way to further his kingdom. He also talked about how “doubt” is not the opposite of faith, it’s sometimes the beginning – and it can ultimately cause our faith to grow deeper. Finally he reminded us that Faith comes through reading and hearing the word of God. Faith and the word of God go together – so it’s hard to have one without the other.

On a totally different note, one thing I’ve really struggled with here is learning not to smile at people and look them in the eye. It’s very bad for women (especially Westerners) to smile at Indian men (because apparently they already think we’re easy and that looks like a “come on”). But I always smile at everyone! I’m trying so hard to break the habit but it is not coming easily...

Finally, there are A LOT of wild street dogs here. I am not struggling with not petting them, because although I love dogs I find these a bit scary. They bark and howl like crazy at night and keep me up! Last night I dreamed of sedating them all at bedtime : ) That would be nice…

Movies and McDonalds

This weekend I saw a Hindi movie (Wake Up Sid). About 1/2 the movie was in Hindi and 1/2 was in English, but it was a pretty predictable movie so I did fine without understanding all of the language. I really enjoyed it actually!

After that I had McDonald's here for the 1st time. Like Dominoes, they don't serve beef or pork. I had something that was close to a Big Mac, but made with chicken. It was pretty good. They have both fries and potato wedges, both of which are excellent. I was told not to take my chances on fountain soda but I decided to give it a shot - so far I'm okay! I didn't get ice though. There was an oily film across the top of it though - a little weird.

On our way home we drove past a Muslim wedding, where it was explained to me that the bridge and groom at these weddings are not allowed to (ever) see each other. Sometimes the wedding takes place and they're in completely different buildings! Some of them meet that night (married) for the very first time.

On a similar note, the evaluation meeting for the semi-arranged Hindu marriage that my host family is helping with went well. The potential groom met the girl briefly and said okay, so they say it's 90% going to happen now. Such a different world!

Today I was thrilled to be invited for lunch at one of most host family's daughter's home. She has a nice apartment nearby, but sadly she's leaving the country (and her husband) soon to move to Dubai for the year to work as a teacher and save some money (they get paid better there).

I tried puris for the first time - kind of a fried bread thing. I really liked them! Reminded me a bit of funnel cake or donuts. My Indian host family has gone out of their way to make me American food the past few days (it's pretty hilarious and very cute) so I've eaten less Indian food then before. They've made pasta several times, burgers and even ordered pizza. Then they make spicy Indian food for themselves : )

I had considered taking a walking tour of Bangalore, but decided I didn't want to wake up at 5 AM to get there in time for the 7 AM start (it was far away). Maybe another weekend!

Today I also discovered a dry cleaning place (6 items for $1.50) and a movie rental place (60 cents) nearby. I rented Marley and Me and bawled my eyes out.

Happy Birthday to Gandhi & Dana!

Yesterday I spent the morning at the Leela Palace hotel. They claim it’s the only “7 star” hotel in India. While I’ve never heard of a 7-star rating, it’s quite fancy. Each week the “Overseas Women’s Club” meets here for coffee. It’s a lot of ex-pat wives with a few NGO workers sprinkled in. I hadn’t planned to join (it feels a bit like a sorority – loads of fun events but not the reason I’m here) but I realized it’s a great place for me to network on behalf of Oasis.

One of the highlights of my day was using the washroom at the Leela. A nice bathroom is hard to come by here, and when you encounter one it’s heaven! The low point of my day was walking home in the drizzly rain in the dark and realizing I had walked through a public toilet area (a sidewalk – but still a toilet no less) in my flip flops : )

In the afternoon I had some informative calls with the Fair Trade Forum of India and the Oasis UK office. I feel like there is so much to do! It’s a bit overwhelming when I think about it, but very exciting at the same time.

Today is Gandhi’s birthday so it is a national holiday. Since the office is closed, I am working from home on a case study for Oasis. The goal is to gain awareness and earn some funding.

A few interesting facts for today on India:
- The Importance of Color: Because it is very desirable in India to have lighter skin, women here actually cover their entire face and neck with Jolen Bleach (the stuff we sometimes use in the US to bleach facial hair) during facials. In fact, my host family is assisting with an arranged marriage “set-up” of sorts for a young woman in the neighborhood, and one of the men who met her told her she was too dark to be his wife. It’s quite interesting how transparent people are about their prejudices.
- Celebrity Gossip: Julia Roberts is in India right now shooting “Eat, Pray, Love”.
- Current Events: A sightseeing boat just sunk in Kerala (Southern India) with a load of tourists. (This is where Dana and I are taking a boat cruise in December). 41 people died because they ran to the side of the boat to see some elephants and the boat capsized with no life jackets. I will make sure that our boat has life jackets in December…